December 26, 2003

The Definition of Insanity

They say the definition of insanity, in effect, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I am therefore insane.

I have previously admitted to being woefully unversed in the ways of the fist. But those who've known me for a while know that I'm far, far LESS capable in the ways of the toolbox. Sure, I can do simple things: put together a bookshelf, change my oil, adjust my truss rod, etc.... But when I really think about it, I have to admit that even these simple things take much longer for me than for others, and tend to generate bizarre problems. Now I'll admit I'm a clutz, and I'll admit that I have far less exposure to such things than others do. But nonetheless I have to believe that those shortcomings don't justify the extraordinary level of trouble I have doing such ordinary things. So I generally avoid mechanical trials, because I always have or cause some bizarre problem, and I just get frustrated, and often the job doesn't get done well, or at all. It would be insane to keep trying to do what I obviously can't.

And then I started reading Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I'm only a very short way into the book, but there's been discussion of people who look at the world afraid of technology, mechanics, the underlying functions of things: people who look at the world in a romantic way, seeing surface beauty and basically expecting that things work, and declaring that those things that suddenly fail to work are "fucking with their chi." That's me, and I don't particularly like it.

"Let's change that," I thought to myself, and the perfect opportunity arose when my wiper blade tore and needed replacing. I've done it before, quite often, and no possibility of danger entered my mind. The old wiper came off with minimal trouble. The new wiper had an adapter on it, but the wrong one. No problem: retrieve screwdriver, snap off adapter. Done! Install new wiper. Fumble, fumble, pull...snap! Done! Perfect. One down, one to go. Push wiper arm back down on winshield...hrm. No reassuring springing into place. Why not? Wiper arm broken.

Wiper arm BROKEN!? WHO in GOD'S NAME breaks a wiper arm changing the blade?! In meager defense to myself, a postmortem revealed that the arm was ready to break at any point. Not a screw or bracket broke, but rather the metal of the wiper arm had weakened to the point where it snapped, despite my not-unreasonable pressure. Nonetheless, I've never even heard of anybody doing this. It's humiliating, and I'm embarrassed to admit it. Why admit it? I'm behind on my blogging, and I didn't have anything better to write about.

Once, in middle school, I expressed my distaste for shop class to my uncle. "No nephew of mine hates shop!" It's not my fault, uncle Bob: it's a curse beyond my control.

Posted by Chris at December 26, 2003 04:10 PM | TrackBack
Comments

crappy frickin' part is what happened to you....not incompetence. I've had that happen a couple of time before- and always at an incovenient time (because I never change them until they're not working and I really really need them) (because I'm stupid and lazy) My theory is that these products are made defective to weaken our self confidence. (before the big invasion)

Posted by: Dana at December 26, 2003 04:45 PM

I agree with Dana: it's all a plot by Them™.

I had the windshield wiper break just as it started to pour once. I was in 12A... pulled over, collected the part (it had flung itself off the car when I turned it on), rolled down the window and drove home holding the wiper out the window, wiping manually. Thank god it was summertime.

Why yes, yes that was the Neon, now that you mention it.

Posted by: Nabil at December 27, 2003 08:35 PM

Rootbizzle- please edit that last one with the typo (delete that shit).

Them is bad.

(never post with blurry contacts)

Posted by: Dana at December 28, 2003 08:54 AM

Comment deleted, per your wishes! Enjoy!

Posted by: Rootbizzle at December 28, 2003 07:06 PM

Don't kid yourself into thinking it's your lack of mechanical ability... it isn't. As you know I am quite mechanically inclined and such situations happen to me as often (if not more.) Just thank ...whomever.. that it didn't happen at a less oppurtune time! Also keep in mind that changing your oil, wiperblades, and whatever else is about a hundred times more challenging than what most drivers are willing to try. Should these consolations not be sufficiant to bring you back to the land of the sane and finish your project, don't hesitate to give me a call. Watching me do it should be enough comic relief to restore all of your mental faculties to thier proper sanity levels. In exchange, you can teach me a thing or two about English!

Posted by: Dave at December 29, 2003 02:31 PM

Thanks Dave, that helps :)

I'm going to snag a new arm today, and the installation looks amazingly simple, except there's one thing I have to check: the bolt screws in from the bottom, and is held up by a nut. Pretty simple. My only fear is that there's no easy (for me) access to the bottom of that bolt: I'll have to open the hood, and I can't remember how far back the compartment goes...I THINK it'll be completely open, but there's some chance that I'll have to remove a ridiculous amount of parts before I can access that simple screw. I know it shouldn't be that way, but it wouldn't surprise me too much.

So if something goes wretchedly wrong, I'll give you a call :) Thanks for the offer.

Posted by: Chris at December 29, 2003 03:05 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?