Happy Halloween, folks! Boy, it's nice to be back. Time to settle in and sit back with a nice Root Beer and a cigarette. No lighter, though...anyone got some fire? Oh, thanks California!
All right, that was out of line. I should delete it.
I'd like to thank Don Rumsfeld for guest blogging while I was away. And I should mention, since he didn't, that it was actually Lolly who pointed out the Wired article on Miniluv.
We might as well face it right now: this is a choppy entry. Topic...topic...topic. No segues or decent transitions. Fuck transitions hard, and steal their TV afterward.
Here is an interesting online test of political/economic views from the good folks at Political Compass. For the hell of it, I'll show you my results (yes, I make the Dalai Lama look like Hitler). Here too are the Little Lady's results...she's a more authoritarian and laissez-faire, than I am, but not as much as some current Presidents I could name. So anyway, you should all take it. Everybody's doing it!
Our final topic for the day: we ran out of Halloween candy today, which was unfortunate because it is Halloween. Panicked, I frantically searched the house for what we could give the little beggars. Stale goldfish crackers. A frozen sausage. Heroin. Dammit: nothing! And then, like a shining beacon of salvation, I saw it--right next to the sink: our grease can.
I babbled excitedly: "We can divide it up into little baggies! We should have enough for at least four kids! We'd probably make the news!" I pictured some kid dumping out his Halloween sack: Snickers, Payday, Three Musketeers...hey, what's this? It's kind of squishy. And it smells funny! Call the police!
To a certain extent, we thought this might happen, so we did something horrible. You must never, ever do this thing, because to do it is to see too much of the darkest, saddest part of humanity. No matter what the circumstance, you must NEVER repeat our sad deed. And though I'm scarred for life from the experience, if I can save even one other person from the horror, I've done something worthy of sainthood.
The thing we did, and which you must never do, is this: we stopped at a major supermarket at 4:00 PM on Halloween, and visited the remains of the candy aisle.
People of a sort I hope never to see again stared at the decimated shelves and empty boxes with the forlorn expression of pilgrims who travel many miles in search of salvation, only to find a used tampon on a pedestal. They looked like kids watching their dogs get run over. And they didn't move, or give up. They stayed there, huddled around the carcass of a candy aisle, as if it would suddenly be resurrected: surely, around some corner, Willy Wonka would soon arrive, and these giant bags of Swedish Fish and Candy Corn would be magically replaced with piles of the greatest candy the world has ever seen. It was a horrible, horrible thing, to be in that aisle. And you must never subject yourself to this experience.
Anyhow, I have a bunch more stuff to say, but I'll say it later.
Posted by Chris at October 31, 2003 08:21 PM | TrackBackHehe, I took the test... I was dead center left and right, but a little far down on the Libertarian side... that was cool!
Posted by: Dave at October 31, 2003 08:49 PMI was fairly impressed with the quality of questions asked. Pretty nice test, in my opinion.
My score:
Economic Left/Right: -2.00
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.03
So basically, I'm a slightly left-wing/liberal libertarian. Which sounds about right.
Posted by: Nabil at November 1, 2003 01:06 AMI've seen various versions of this sort of test.
There were some questions that had problematic wording imnsho BUT it was not as though the entire test was that way. I took the test and scored pretty much in line with all those folks I like to study/read +1.5, -5.59.
p.s.
Chris-aaaiiiighhhh!!!!! Come visit my library. (ha ha- just kidding.)
(mostly)
Ah, my guess for Dana was pretty close. The reading list broken down by quadrant made guessing that one pretty easy :)
And I must say the results for Bil and Dave sound pretty reasonable. Mine were too, although it's tough for me to picture myself as way more left & libertarian than, say, Gandhi.
So now Dana's freaking out, begging me to read Hayek before my shelves fill up with Chomsky. I have been inspired to pick up and seriously read some Thomas Paine. And to compensate, I'll try to read something from the other libertarian side: I doubt I'll read Ayn Rand, because Officer Barbrady said it sucked, but I could be persuaded to flip through some Hayek or Hazlitt.
Posted by: Chris at November 1, 2003 09:07 AMI am NOT freaking out. ;P
ah yes- Thomas Paine- I should read some- I resisted it for a long time, I think, because I was required to memorize the "These are the times that try mens souls. The summer soldier and sunshine patriot, will in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country" essay. I worked so hard at remembering it verbatim that I never really 'read' it. Thanks for the reminder- I'll get on it.
Yeah- ayn rand (from what little I've read- and I've only read a couple of the shorter stuff) isn't necessarily my first choice as the ideal representaive that quadrant-although more or less in line with it. L. von Mises, Friedman (it helps to not picture him), Hayek or even Sowell.
anything but comedians, linguists, and red headed singers (that made idle threats of moving to canada...I'm still waiting)
Christopher- I must suggest that you consider coming over to visit. It's just a step to the right!
With utmost respect for individual freedom,
Ghandi
All right, Dana, I'll admit it...I have no idea who your "red headed singer" comment refers to. :P
Posted by: Chris at November 1, 2003 10:43 AMDear Gandhi:
Suck my nuts, you fascist bastard!
He's talking about me and my threats to move to canada if bush got elected.
Posted by: Barbara Streisand at November 1, 2003 10:49 AMOh dear. oh dear.
I was afraid that it would come to this.
I simply must insist also that you bite my bony brown ass. Might I also suggest that you, in the name of individual freedom, bite my bony brown ass.
Bareassed and bony,
Ghandi
Jesus, Barbra, just move there anyway. You've done enough damage here.
Posted by: Chris at November 1, 2003 10:54 AMI am (believe it or not) on a mailing list dedicated to libertarian fiction. It's not very active, but there are a lot of excellent suggestions.
Personally, I'd recommend reading some L. Neil Smith, who is considered one of the pre-eminent sources of libertarian fiction.
Another big (and in my opinion better) one to read is The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert A. Heinlein. I think he makes a lot of really excellent political and economic comments in it, though frankly the book is worth reading for far more reasons than that.
Does any other Heinlein have that kind (or level) of economic/political/social commentary? Moon is the only one I've read.
I'll check out some Smith. Thanks for the suggestion: always looking for new reading :)
okay so I'm a bit slow getting around to taking the test...
but I thought you'd want to know we're close neighbors Chris! (I'm one line diagonally up/left from you.)
Economic Left/Right: -7.75
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.54
wacky goodness all around
-m
Just took the test.
Economic Left/Right: -1.25
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.00
That's the quadrant I imagined I be in, but much less severely in any direction than I'd anticipated.
And my goodness, Moon is the only Heinlein I've read so far myself. I dug it hard. Will read more. Out.
Posted by: Shane at November 2, 2003 01:36 AMAh, thanks Mickey! Now I no longer feel like such an extremist. :P Even Gandhi told me to bite his brown ass. Harsh.
Posted by: Chris at November 2, 2003 01:51 PMChris-
Well actually, to get Clintonian about it, he to told you to byte his bony brown ass :-). FWIW- Rand's good, though she does over-simplify. If you're going to, might I suggest choosing one that best fits your interests.
Econ Left/Right: -4.62
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.38
Funny- I expected to land dead center.
Welcome Russel. Thanks for the bony clarification. I wouldn't want to bite the wrong brown ass.
I don't know your politics...do you think the test was way off, or pretty accurate? Most of the other results seemed about right to me, but I try not to place too much stock in tests like these without a range of feedback.
Did any particular authors from the reading lists catch your eye? I'm always looking for new stuff. :)
Posted by: Chris at November 6, 2003 09:24 PM